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September 2009



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Sep. 12th, 2009

(no subject)

Things in the city are overall going pretty well right now. I'm just recovering from an extreme rough patch after cutting my head on some stairs (that required stitches) and a recent health scare. Since I'm on the uphill from that, I'm working a lot, making new friends, dating, and reading. If I could ask for one thing right now it would be more money. Since I'm not in a position to make that happen (not at this present moment at least)

I've decided to do something different. I want to re shift my energy and therefore I'm challenging myself to do something good for me that I hate.

I'm going to start running.

Tomorrow I start an 8 week running program. I want to run a 5K by Christmas. I want to love to run. I want to cleanse my body and I think this is a good way to do it.

and I don't want to have to delete this post because I chickened out.

See you in 8 weeks. (i hope)

“If you want to become the best runner you can be, start now. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering if you can do it.”
~Priscilla Welch

Feb. 21st, 2009

(no subject)

"they spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever" -oscar wilde.

so people always say that if you can find anything else that you could be happy doing, do that, and don't put yourself through the torture of trying to pursue show business.

before i left baton rouge i so romantically thought i just couldn't possibly be happy unless I was on stage.

well i moved to new york. and that has changed.

this place makes me want to write. it makes me want to be a producer. it makes me want to learn more about everything. it makes me want to do a million things. i've decided to be my own, sloppier version of a renaissance woman.

i sometimes feel like this isn't a thing to be shared with fellow actors, because i feel like it can be so easily misunderstood as "giving up" i want theater in my life, i just don't think i need to get paid to do it.

i just realized i'm at that ridiculous cliche part of my life where i'm "exploring myself"

: )

also, these feelings are heightened because i just took a pain pill and have pink eye in both eyes (naturally)

Jan. 25th, 2009

(no subject)

things have been good lately. leavin' for memphis in 2 weeks to seek my UPTAS fortune.

"It's terrible that our identity has to go hand in hand with what we are doing. People never ask actors, "How are you doing?" Rather they ask, "What are you doing?"
Even our friends do this. Those are always the first words out of their mouths. We are led to believe that if we are not working, then we are not good people and should not have self-esteem. We've lost it."
-Kip Driver

Jan. 15th, 2009

(no subject)

i just got home. its 6am.

this is the first time i've felt like i've gotten the taste of nyc crazy i wanted.

i met a girl from LC at 4am, ended up at a random apt on central park west, met someone, hopped random bars with krystle, got a free tshirt, and more.

i'm sitting in the snow and loving it. i hope it lasts forever.

"I don't want to have to do this living. I just walk around. I want to be swept off my feet. You know? I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it"
-Me, You, and Everyone Else we Know.

Dec. 24th, 2008

(no subject)

"I struggled composing a real world resume, as my abilities were at best vague and at worst unusable. I decided to give it till I was thirty, and then I would have to figure out something else to do"
-Steve Martin, Born Standing Up


I'm at my temp job now. The lady I'm temping for apparently has a deep affection for cats- as I am surrounded in a sea of porcelain cat figurines.

I'm almost done reading Catcher in the Rye for the second time in my life. The last time I read it, I was a senior in high school and I thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Now reading it, it's like, "oh yea, this book is pretty good." kind of a bummer that it's not "changing my life" anymore.

"Something else an academic education will do for you. If you go along with it any considerable distance, it'll begin to give you an idea what size mind you have. What it'll fit and maybe, what it won't. After a while, you'll have an idea what kind of thoughts your particular size mind should be wearing. For one thing, it may save you an extraordinary amount of time trying on ideas that don't suit you, aren't becoming of you. You'll begin to know your true measurements and dress your mind accordingly."
-Catcher in the Rye

Dec. 13th, 2008

(no subject)

So after falling headfirst into an emotional hole the size of this city, I've just managed to crawl out.

its so funny how that happens, one day things will never get better and then one day you wake up, and for no reason whatsoever, everything is a little better. i guess its that whole time bit.

i think things got better when i decided to stop wishing. i stopped wishing i was in a past relationship. i stopped wishing i didn't spend so much money the night before. i stopped wishing that..... so on and so on.

i realized my mind was anywhere but the present. it was obnoxiously in the past. IT WASN'T HELPING.

i have to become enchanted with new york again. i have to realize that i'm going to be doing stupid shit i don't want to do for a long time in order to do what i want to do.

and thats the life i've picked...damnit.

Dec. 10th, 2008

(no subject)

"I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”
-Theodore Isaac Rubin

Dec. 6th, 2008

(no subject)

i know that very few people read this, but for those of you who do, i need you to go see Milk. Its the best movie I've seen in a long time and such an inspirational and tragic story.

quotes from Mr. Milk himself:

“all young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.”

“More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.”

also, this is an excerpt from a copy of a translation of a poem that was in the synecdoche, new york movie that i enjoyed, so i'm sharing.

Autumn Day

Whoever has no house by now will not build.
Whoever is alone now, will remain alone,
will wait up, read, write long letters,
and walk along sidewalks under large trees,
not going home, as the leaves fall and blow away.

Nov. 28th, 2008

(no subject)

well its my birthday today.
i'm house sitting for a cat.
i'm alone with a a cat watching tv on my birthday.

i thought it would be so exciting to have my birthday up here for the first time, but so far its proved to be more lonely.

but i am gonna see some good theater (hopefully) and meet up with the few, the proud, the friends of mine that don't have to work tonight.

it's days like today that i wish i were still in school. birthdays are more special then.

i'm gonna be in a show that gordon is directing, i'm very excited about it - and i think its just what i need to get over these initial moving blues.

"the older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune"
-Pope Paul VI

Nov. 25th, 2008

(no subject)

things i've learned from new york:

1. you meet many people, but its hard to keep anyone.
2. any straight male (whether awesome or a douchbag) has a girlfriend.
3. 2/3 of the people don't speak good english.
4. the good days are amazing.
5. the bad days are the worst imaginable.
6. you get about 3 concrete things a day done. but it seems like you've done 30.
7. its nearly impossible to keep in touch with anyone.
8. everything is expensive.

and lastly,
9. even though most things suck about the city, it's so wonderful.

"from my experience honey, if he's too good to be true, he probably is"
-s&the city

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